When I Was A Kid, Everybody That

I Was In My Peak Physical Condition When I Was About Like, Uh... One. Oh God, I Looked Good, Young And Fresh! You Wouldn't Know Me Now If You'd Seen Me When I Was One, You Know? I Even Looked Good For My Age. People Would Come Up To Me And Go, What Are You, Zero? And I'd Go, No, I'm One Over Here!

Some People Are So Much Afraid Of Being Deceived, That They Never Venture To Trust; Like Misers, Their Avarice Destroys Their Gain.

Most Men Will Go Farther To Give Advice Than To Follow Their Own Opinion.

I've Been Offered Political Shows Before, And I Don't Know Anything About Politics And I Feel Uncomfortable Making Political Opinions - There's Consequences To Them. I Often Think I'm Wrong, So I Really Don't Like Getting In Political Or Religious Discussions Because Of The Giant Possibility That I Might Be Wrong.

Louis [c.k.] Is Great. But I Don't Know How Many You Could Do.