Were There No Fools, There Would Be

I'm Thankful For Women. I Think Women Are More Intelligent Than Men. Also, Without Women, There Would Be No Cookies.

I Hate Fame. I Hate Being Recognized, Because I Don't Know How To Talk To People.

The Praise We Seek For Our Own Virtues Sometimes Tempts Us To Flatter The Imperfections Of Other Men.

I'm Not Gay, So I Don't Know Much About Broadway Musicals.

Stand-up Has The Best Writers, Because It's The Hardest Writing By A Million Miles.