I'm A Bad Lover. Once I Caught

My Wife And I Were Happy For 20 Years. Then We Met.

My Cousin Is Gay, I Always Tell Him That In Our Family Tree, He's In The Fruit Section.

I Had Plenty Of Pimples As A Kid. One Day I Fell Asleep In The Library. When I Woke Up, A Blind Man Was Reading My Face.

My Kids Scotch Tape Worms To The Sidewalk And Watch The Birds Get Hernias.

I Say 'no' To Drugs. Whenever Someone Asks Me For Some Of My Drugs I Say, 'no.