I'm A Bad Lover. Once I Caught

When I Was A Kid I Got No Respect. I Had No Friends. I Remember The See-saw. I Had To Keep Runnin' From One End To The Other.

My Wifes Cooking Is So Bad The Flys Fix Our Screens

I Started Over Again With An Image: Nothing Goes Right. Then When The Godfather Came Out, All I Heard Was, Show Respect. With Me, You Show Respect. So I Changed The Image To I Don't Get No Respect. I Tried It Out In Greenwich Village. I Remember The First Joke I Told: Even As A Kid, I'd Play Hide And Seek And The Other Kids Wouldn't Even Look For Me. The People Laughed. After The Show, They Started Saying To Me, Me, Too - I Don't Get No Respect. I Figured, Let's Try It Again.

I Found There Was Only One Way To Look Thin: Hang Out With Fat People.

Group Sex, Are You Kidding, I Had Group Sex - My Wife Screwed In Front Of The Jury.