If You Had Five Photos Of Anuses,

Treat The World Like A Head.

There Was Some Women In A Café The Other Week That I Was Sat In, And She Came Up And She Sat Down With Her Mate And She Was Talkin' Loudly Goin' On About "oh The Baby's Lovely." They Said It's Got, Er, Lovely Big Eyes, Er, Really Big Hands And Feet. Now That Doesn't Sound Like A Nice Baby To Me. I Felt Like Sayin' It Sounds Like A Frog. But I Thought I Don't Know Her, There's Only So Much You Can Say To A Stranger. I Don't Know What Kept Me From Sayin' It.

Well...like, When You're Born, You're A Little Baby, You're Wrinkly And Stuff, When You Get Older You Sort Of Morph Into A Baby Again.

I've Always Wanted To Kick A Duck Up The Arse

I Found That Being With Happy Positive People Annoys Me.