Yesterday, I Did Some Painting Then Went

People Always Tell Me I'm Going To Regret Not Having Kids. But What If I Have One And Then I Regret Having It? Has Anyone Thought Of That Option?

Yesterday, I Did Some Painting Then Went Out To Buy An Onion And Came Home And Watched 'university Challenge.' The Onion Was Probably The Highlight.

I Don't Really Like Surprises. Not Big Ones Anyway. Just Having A Pack Of Revels Holds Enough Of A Surprise For Me.

There Was Some Women In A Café The Other Week That I Was Sat In, And She Came Up And She Sat Down With Her Mate And She Was Talkin' Loudly Goin' On About "oh The Baby's Lovely." They Said It's Got, Er, Lovely Big Eyes, Er, Really Big Hands And Feet. Now That Doesn't Sound Like A Nice Baby To Me. I Felt Like Sayin' It Sounds Like A Frog. But I Thought I Don't Know Her, There's Only So Much You Can Say To A Stranger. I Don't Know What Kept Me From Sayin' It.

I Don't Know Why Small Chocolates Are Called Fun-sized; I Mean, If I Called A Midget Fun-sized, They'd Kick Off.