If Opportunity Doesn't Knock, Build A Door,

She Was Nice To Him On Valentine's Day. She Gave Him A Heart-shaped Rash.

The Only Thing That Can Break A Piece Of Valentine Candy Is Another Piece Of Valentine Candy.

I Bought A Christmas Tree For Twenty Dollars. When I Came Home The Next Day, My Wife Was Wearing It In Her Hair.

My Wife And I Were Shopping For The Whole Family. In The Music Department My Wife Said, "let's Get Your Nephew A Set Of Drums. That's What Your Brother Did To Us Last Year."

I Made A Terrible Mistake Last Christmas. My Wife Made Me Swear That I Wouldn't Give Her A Fancy Gift. And I Didn't.