If I Could Get My Membership Fee

Hollywood Is A Place Where People From Iowa Mistake Each Other For Stars.

All That The Comedian Has To Show For His Years Of Work And Aggravation Is The Echo Of Forgotten Laughter.

The Average Girl Would Rather Have Beauty Than Brains Because She Knows The Average Man Can See Much Better Than He Can Think- Ladies' Home Journali'd Rather Have Two Girls At Seventeen Than One At Thirty-four

Father Time Is The Make-up Man Responsible For The Physical Changes That Determine The Parts The Average Actor Is To Play.

If I Could Get My Membership Fee Back, I'd Resign From The Human Race.