If I Could Get My Membership Fee

Success Is Like Dealing With Your Kid Or Teaching Your Wife To Drive. Sooner Or Later You'll End Up In The Police Station.

Everything Is For The Eye These Days - Tv, Life, Look, The Movies. Nothing Is Just For The Mind. The Next Generation Will Have Eyeballs As Big As Cantaloupes And No Brain At All.

Most Of Us Spend The First Six Days Of Each Week Sowing Wild Oats; Then We Go To Church On Sunday And Pray For A Crop Failure.

When Jack Benny Plays The Violin, It Sounds As Though The Strings Are Still In The Cat.

A Committee Is A Group Of The Unprepared, Appointed By The Unwilling To Do The Unnecessary.