After Quitting Radio I Was Able To

I Can't Understand Why A Person Will Take A Year To Write A Novel When He Can Easily Buy One For A Few Dollars.

The Average Vice-president Is A Form Of Executive Fungus That Attaches Itself To A Desk. On A Boat This Growth Would Be Called A Barnacle.

I Like Long Walks, Especially When They Are Taken By People Who Annoy Me.

I'd Rather Have Two Girls At Seventeen Than One At Thirty-four.

Most Of Us Spend The First Six Days Of Each Week Sowing Wild Oats; Then We Go To Church On Sunday And Pray For A Crop Failure.