Everywhere Outside New York City Is Bridgeport,

A Celebrity Is A Person Who Works Hard All Of Their Life To Become Well Known, And Then Wears Dark Glasses To Avoid Being Recognized.

Washington Is No Place For A Good Actor. The Competition From Bad Actors Is Too Great.

Life, In My Estimation, Is A Biological Misadventure That We Terminate On The Shoulders Of Six Strange Men Whose Only Objective Is To Make A Hole In One With You.

I Learned Law So Well, The Day I Graduated I Sued The College, Won The Case, And Got My Tuition Back.

I'm A Little Hoarse Tonight. I've Been Living In Chicago For The Past Two Months, And You Know How It Is, Yelling For Help On The Way Home Every Night. Things Are So Tough In Chicago That At Easter Time, For Bunnies The Little Kids Use Porcupines.