I'd Make Jack Benny Look Like A

I Can't Even Find Someone For A Platonic Relationship, Much Less The Kind Where Someone Wants To See Me Naked.

I Just Don't Accept Midgets As Human Beings. There's Only So Much Political Correctness I Can Accept.

A Landlord Is Showing A Couple Around An Apartment. The Husband Looks Up And Says, 'wait A Minute. This Apartment Doesn't Have A Ceiling.' The Landlord Answers, 'that's Ok. The People Upstairs Don't Walk Around That Much.'

I Remember Being At The Premiere Of 'beverly Hills Cop Ii' And The Tremendous Reaction From The Crowd Outside, Then Going To A Party At A Hotel Afterwards Where The Speakers Were Blasting 'shakedown,' A Song From The Movie. That Felt Like A Show Biz Moment To Me.

I Understand Being Less Sexy Than Osama Bin Laden, But Not Less Sexy Than Carrot Top. That, I Find Offensive.