I'd Make Jack Benny Look Like A

Every Time I Give A Straight Answer And Read It In A Magazine, I Say, 'ouch.' One Day I'd Like To Talk To A Psychoanalyst About Why Celebrities Reveal So Much Of Themselves In Interviews.

I Just Don't Accept Midgets As Human Beings. There's Only So Much Political Correctness I Can Accept.

Back When Jerry Seinfeld Was Just Another Comedian Hanging Around The Clubs, I'd Imitate Him To Amuse Myself And The Other Comics. The Club Owners Would Say, 'what Are You Doing That For? Nobody Knows Him.'

If They'd Wanted A Nice Parrot, They Wouldn't Have Asked For Me.

I Think Of Alan Thicke As Perry Como Without The Excitement.