A Landlord Is Showing A Couple Around

In Real Life I'm A Tall, Blond Christian.

I Was Jewish, Through And Through, Although In Our House That Didn't Mean A Whole Lot. We Never Went To Synagogue. I Never Had A Bar Mitzvah. We Didn't Keep Kosher Or Observe The Sabbath. In Fact, I'm Not So Sure I Would Have Known What The Sabbath Looked Like If It Passed Me On The Street, So How Could I Observe It?

I'm Used To Explaining To People Why My Jokes Were Funny.

Any Misfortune That Happens To Another Person Is Funny. If It Happens To Someone Else And Not Me, It's Very Funny.

I Would Show Up At A Party For Al Qaeda If You Said There's Going To Be A Dinner.