I Worked My Way Up From Nothing

A Clown Is Like Aspirin, Only He Works Twice As Fast.

He's So Full Of Alcohol, If You Put A Lighted Wick In His Mouth He'd Burn For Three Days.

And Stop Pointing That Beard At Me, It Might Go Off!

If Women Dressed For Men, The Stores Wouldn't Sell Much - Just An Occasional Sun Visor.

Before You Speak, Make Certain You Have Something Worthwhile To Say.