I Was So Ugly That My Parents

There Is Nothing Funny About Aging: It Is Rotten And Depressing. Anyone Who Tells You Otherwise Just Hasn't Been Paying Attention.

The Psychic Scars Caused By Believing That You Are Ugly Leave A Permanent Mark On Your Personality.

I'm A Double Bagger. Not Only Does My Husband Put A Bag Over My Face When We're Making Love, But He Also Puts A Bag Over His Head In Case Mine Falls Off.

I Was Dating A Transvestite, And My Mother Said, "marry Him, You'll Double Your Wardrobe."

Better Laid Than Never.