I Was A Vegetarian Until I Started

My Parents Were Glad To See That My New Husband Looks Like A 'regular Guy'-no Earring Or Anything. But Really I Think A Man With An Earring Is Better Prepared For Marriage. I Mean, He's Already Experienced Pain And Bought Jewelry.

My Mother Was The Worst Cook Ever. In School, When We Traded Lunches, I Had To Throw In An Article Of Clothing.

I Worry About Las Vegas Schools. I Hear In Math, They Only Teach Them To Count To 21.

... Life Is Broken Down Into These Stages: You're Born And You Don't Know How Anything Works; Gradually You Find Out How Everything Works; Technology Evolves And Slowly There Are A Few Things You Can't Work; At The End, You Don't Know How Anything Works.

Men Are Very Confident People. Even A Sixty-year-old Man With No Arms Thinks He Could Play In The Super Bowl If He Had To.