I Jogged For Three Miles Once. It

The Time You Spend Grieving Over A Man Should Never Exceed The Amount Of Time You Actually Spent With Him

My Parents Were Glad To See That My New Husband Looks Like A 'regular Guy'-no Earring Or Anything. But Really I Think A Man With An Earring Is Better Prepared For Marriage. I Mean, He's Already Experienced Pain And Bought Jewelry.

When A Woman Tries On Clothing From Her Closet That Feels Tight, She Will Assume She Has Gained Weight. When A Man Tries Something From His Closet That Feels Tight, He Will Assume The Clothing Has Shrunk.

The Way A Man Looks At Himself In A Mirror Will Tell You If He Can Ever Care About Anyone Else.

If I Say A Joke And The Audience Laughs It Makes Me Feel Good.