I Jogged For Three Miles Once. It

At The End Of Every Year, I Add Up The Time That I Have Spent On The Phone On Hold And Subtract It From My Age. I Don't Count That Time As Really Living. I Spend More And More Time On Hold Each Year. By The Time I Die, I'm Going To Be Quite Young.

Some People Think Having Large Breasts Makes A Woman Stupid. Actually, It's Quite The Opposite: A Woman Having Large Breasts Makes Men Stupid.

Men Do Cry, But Only When Assembling Furniture.

Yes, I've Now Got This Nice Little Apartment In New York, One Of Those L-shaped Ones. Unfortunately, It's A Lower Case L.

An Amicable Divorce Is Like A Ventilated Condom; It Just Doesn't Work.