My Mother Is Such A Lousy Cook

One Of My First Office Jobs Was Cleaning The Windows On Brown Envelopes.

Commitment Is Different In Males And Females. In Females It Is A Desire To Get Married And Raise A Family. In Males It Means Not Picking Up Other Women While Out With One's Girlfriend.

Men Would Like Monogamy Better If It Sounded Less Like Monotony.

Men Love To Be The First To Read The Newspaper In The Morning. Not Being The First Is Upsetting To Their Psyches.

Never Play Peek-a-boo With A Child On A Long Plane Trip. There's No End To The Game. Finally I Grabbed Him By The Bib And Said, "look, It's Always Gonna Be Me!"