My Jokes Are In My Head And

I Was Walking Down Fifth Avenue Today And I Found A Wallet, And I Was Gonna Keep It, Rather Than Return It, But I Thought: Well, If I Lost A Hundred And Fifty Dollars, How Would I Feel? And I Realized I Would Want To Be Taught A Lesson.

If You Can Make Just One Person Laugh, Then You Are Already Doing Better Than Tony Danza.

Well, My Brother Says 'hello.' So, Hooray For Speech Therapy.

I Was In A Bar The Other Night, Hopping From Barstool To Barstool, Trying To Get Lucky, But There Wasn't Any Gum Under Any Of Them.

Ambiguity — The Devil's Volleyball.