My Jokes Are In My Head And

Every Time I See Dan Quayle I Feel Like Buying A Vowel.

My Girlfriend Told Me That She Was Seeing Another Man. I Told Her To Rub Her Eyes.

I Thought I Was Raptured Up Into The Air Today; Turns Out, It Was Just My Gas Oven Exploding.

My Computer Beat Me At Checkers, But I Sure Beat It At Kickboxing.

I Was In A Bar The Other Night, Hopping From Barstool To Barstool, Trying To Get Lucky, But There Wasn't Any Gum Under Any Of Them.