My Jokes Are In My Head And

People Always Ask Me, 'where Were You When Kennedy Was Shot?' Well, I Don't Have An Alibi.

Well! I Feel Happy These Days. I've Started Taking A Herbal Anti-depressant. It's Called Saint John's Wort. Apparently It's The Best-selling Anti-depressant In Many Places. It's The Most Popular Anti-depressant In Germany... After, I'm Guessing, Amnesia.

Now There's A Seven-day Waiting Period To Buy A Gun. Who Can Stay Mad That Long?

I Was Walking Down The Street. Something Caught My Eye, And Dragged It Fifteen Feet.

I'd Be In The Backyard Minding My Own Business. The Other Kids Would Call Me Names, Like Meatball Head Or Neo-calvinist. I'd Run After Them, But Lucky For Them The Chain Would Snap My Neck Back.