He Taught Me Never To Smile, Which

I Was In A Bar The Other Night, Hopping From Barstool To Barstool, Trying To Get Lucky, But There Wasn't Any Gum Under Any Of Them.

Girls Throw Their Panties On The Stage, But Rarely If Ever Do They Fit.

Now There's A Seven-day Waiting Period To Buy A Gun. Who Can Stay Mad That Long?

Charlie Chaplin Is The Greatest Artist Of The 20th Century. He Takes Me From Laughter To Tears In Seconds. And He Was One Of The Very First Funny Men. It's Like The Original Violins Were Made In Cremona And There's Never Been Any Better Since. Sometimes The Best Come Right Off The Bat.

The Nicest Present I Ever Got Was An Exploding Suppository.