I Used To Sell Furniture For A

My Mother-in-law Has So Many Wrinkles, When She Smiles She Looks Like A Venetian Blind.

I Knew I'd Chosen The Wrong Airline When I Noticed The Sick Bag Had The Lord's Prayer On It.

A Square Egg In A Dish Of Lentils Won't Make A Marrow Bend With The Wind, Nor Will It Make Rhubarb Grow Up The Milkmaid's Leg.

The Wife's Mother Said, ‘when You're Dead, I'll Dance In Your Grave.’ I Said: ‘good, I'm Being Buried At Sea’.

I'm Not Saying My Mother Didn't Like Me, But She Kept Looking For Loopholes In My Birth Certificate.