The Mother-in-law Is The Centre Of A

I'd Like To Thank The Bbc For Allowing Me To Work Here. And I'd Like To Thank The Wife And Kids For Making It Necessary.

Take My Wife... Please. I'm Not Saying She's Ugly, But When She Went To See A Horror Film, The Audience Thought She Was Making A Personal Appearance.

I Don't Mind What The Critics Say, So Long As I Get Some Reaction. The Worst Thing Is To Be Ignored.

I Took My Mother-in-law To Madame Tussaud's Chamber Of Horrors, And One Of The Attendants Said: 'keep Her Moving Sir; We're Stock-taking.'

I Used To Sell Furniture For A Living. The Trouble Was, It Was My Own.