I Went To The Doctor Last Week.

In Awe, I Watched The Waxing Moon Ride Across The Zenith Of The Heavens Like An Ambered Chariot Towards The Ebony Void Of Infinite Space Wherein The Tethered Belts Of Jupiter And Mars Hang, For Ever Festooned In Their Orbital Majesty. And As I Looked At All This I Thought... I Must Put A Roof On This Toilet.

My Mother-in-law Has Come Round To Our House At Christmas Seven Years Running. This Year We're Having A Change. We're Going To Let Her In.

I Went To The Doctor Last Week. I Said: 'can I Have Some Sleeping Pills For The Wife?' He Said: 'why?' I Said: 'she's Woke Up.

Take My Wife... Please. I'm Not Saying She's Ugly, But When She Went To See A Horror Film, The Audience Thought She Was Making A Personal Appearance.

My Mother-in-law Has So Many Wrinkles, When She Smiles She Looks Like A Venetian Blind.