I Used To Get Drunk Every Night

At My Lemonade Stand I Used To Give The First Glass Away Free And Charge Five Dollars For The Second Glass. The Refill Contained The Antidote.

Once I Was In A Restaurant And I Dropped My Fork On The Floor, And They Gave Me A New Fork. So I Pushed My Girlfriend Out Of Her Chair.

I Think Fur Looks Better On An Animal Than On A Human Being. So I Dress My Dog In A Mink Teddy.

I Once Heard Two Ladies Going On And On About The Pains Of Childbirth And How Men Don't Seem To Know What Real Pain Is. I Asked If Either Of Them Ever Got Themselves Caught In A Zipper.

I Go To Pick Up A Girl In A Bar. I Say Will You Go Home With Me? She Says I Don't Know, Do You Have Cable? I Say No, But The Rope Should Work Just Fine.