At My Lemonade Stand I Used To

When I Went To College, My Parents Threw A Going Away Party For Me, According To The Letter.

The American Government Is Making Nuclear Weapons Like There's No Tomorrow.

Computers Aren't Intelligent, They Only Think They Are.

I Was Sick Of People Making Fun Of My Hair And So I Cut It Off And I've Got Much More Attention Than Ever Before. It Was Like When Mona Lisa Was Stolen From The Louvre In 1906 - Three Times More People Came To See Where It Used To Be.

I Took My Grandmother To The Emergency Room. The Doctor Said That She Was On An Artificial Life Support System, And That Although Her Brain Was Dead Her Heart Was Still Beating. I Though, "we've Never Had A Democrat In The Family Before".