I Toyed With The Idea Of Playing

I've Got A Friend Who Is A Lion Tamer. He Used To Be A School Teacher Till He Lost His Nerve.

My Mother-in-law's So Fat That When She Passes Her Handbag From Hand To Hand She Throws It.

The Mother-in-law Came Round Last Week. It Was Absolutely Pouring Down. So I Opened The Door And I Saw Her There And I Said, 'mother, Don't Just Stand There In The Rain. Go Home.'

I'm Not Saying My Mother Didn't Like Me, But She Kept Looking For Loopholes In My Birth Certificate.

I Went To The Doctor Last Week. I Said: 'can I Have Some Sleeping Pills For The Wife?' He Said: 'why?' I Said: 'she's Woke Up.