I've Got A Friend Who Is A

Mind You, I've Always Been Musical... Mother Used To Sit Me On Her Knee And I'd Whisper, 'mummy, Mummy, Sing Me A Lullaby Do,' And She'd Say: 'certainly My Angel, My Wee Bundle Of Happiness, Hold My Beer While I Fetch Me Banjo.'

The Wife's Mother Said, ‘when You're Dead, I'll Dance In Your Grave.’ I Said: ‘good, I'm Being Buried At Sea’.

I Saw Six Men Kicking And Punching The Mother-in-law. My Neighbour Said 'are You Going To Help?' I Said 'no, Six Should Be Enough.'

Marriage Is An Institution And That's Where A Couple Finishes Up.

A Square Egg In A Dish Of Lentils Won't Make A Marrow Bend With The Wind, Nor Will It Make Rhubarb Grow Up The Milkmaid's Leg.