I Tolerate Lactose Like I Tolerate People.

Being Larry David On Curb Your Enthusiasm Was The Best Thing To Happen To Larry David In Life.

All Of A Sudden I Discovered That I'm Allergic To Caviar. It Was The Perfect Metaphor For My Life. When I Was Only Able To Afford Bad Caviar, I Could Certainly Eat My Fill Of It.

Anyone Can Be Confident With A Full Head Of Hair. But A Confident Bald Man - There's Your Diamond In The Rough.

If I Tried To Flirt With A Woman And She Didn't Know Who I Was, She Would Run Away.

I Need To Be On Drugs To Connect With Nature.