I Once Dated A Girl That Was

Dad Told Me To Stop Running In Circles, I Couldn't, So He Nailed Down My Other Foot!

Oh, I Was An Ugly Kid. My Old Man Took Me To The Zoo. They Thanked Him For Returning Me.

My Parents Didn't Like Me. For Bathtub Toys They Gave Me A Blender And A Transistor Radio.

My Wife Is Always Trying To Get Rid Of Me. The Other Day She Told Me To Put The Garbage Out. I Said To Her I Already Did. She Told Me To Go And Keep An Eye On It.

I Once Had A Problem ... So I Tried Group Sex. Now I Have A New Problem - Who To Thank.