I Love To Sing, And I Love

When I Was In Vegas Women Were Throwing Their Hotel Keys At Me. But It Was After They Checked Out.

When I Was Young I Was Called A Rugged Individualist. When I Was In My Fifties I Was Considered Eccentric. Here I Am Doing And Saying The Same Things I Did Then And I'm Labeled Senile.

Dress Simply. If You Wear A Dinner Jacket, Don't Wear Anything Else On It ... Like Lunch Or Dinner.

I Drink Coffee With My Right Hand, And I Smoke With My Left. But I Talk With Both Hands.

I've Been A Straight Man For So Many Years That From Force Of Habit I Repeat Everything. I Went Out Fishing With A Fellow The Other Day And He Fell Overboard. He Yelled, Help! Help! Help! So I Said, Help? Help? Help? And While I Was Waiting For Him To Get His Laugh, He Drowned.