I Drink Coffee With My Right Hand,

I Look Better, Feel Better, Make Love Better And I'll Tell You Something Else....i Never Lied Better.

As Long As You're Working, You Stay Young.

I'm Onstage For An Hour.i Do An Hour Of Stand-up. Actually, I Do 10 Minutes Standing Up And 50 Minutes Sitting In A Chair. Oh, Occasionally, I Stand Up Again To Do A Dance Or Put Over A Song. But Mostly I Sit Down. A Great Invention, Sitting Down.

It's No Surprise That Things Are So Screwed Up: Everyone That Knows How To Run A Government Is Either Driving Taxicabs Or Cutting Hair.

I'd Say That About 82 Percent Of What I Write Is Bad, But Don't Go By Me; I'm As Bad A Judge As I Am A Writer. Look, If It Were All Good, You'd Be Paying Twice As Much For This Book.