I Like To Do Things For My

Valentine's Day Is The Day When You Remember That Cupid Was A Lousy Shot.

I'd Rather Be A Could-be If I Cannot Be An Are; Because A Could-be Is A Maybe Who Is Reaching For A Star. I'd Rather Be A Has-been Than A Might-have-been, By Far; For A Might Have-been Has Never Been, But A Has Was Once An Are.

They've Got Plastic Christmas Trees Now. They're Hard To Tell From The Real Aluminum Ones.

The Human Brain Is Special. It Starts Working As Soon As You Get Up And It Doesn't Stop Until You Get To School.

I Gave My Wife A Twenty-five-dollar Gift Certificate. She Used It As A Down Payment On A Mink Coat.