They've Got Plastic Christmas Trees Now. They're

Why Are We Honoring This Man? Have We Run Out Of Human Beings?

Our Tree Was So Puny We Used Orthopedic Bulbs.

Valentine's Day - A Nice Holiday Because It's The First Day Of The Rest Of Your Wife.

Do You Want To Feel Insecure? Count The Number Of Christmas Cards You Sent Out, And Then Count Those You Received.

A Man Is Hit By A Car While Crossing A Beverly Hills Street. A Woman Rushes To Him And Cradles His Head In Her Lap, Asking, Are You Comfortable? The Man Answers, I Make A Nice Living.