I Like Birthdays. Every Time Someone Is

How Fast Does A Zebra Have To Run Before It Looks Gray.

The Best Way To Make Somebody Feel Important Is To Try To Assassinate Them.

I Wonder If It's Rude For A Deaf Person To Talk With Food In Their Hands.

If I Could Control The Behavior Of Fat Guys I Would Make Them Ride Mopeds More Often.

Stand-up Is Like A Row Boat: It's Fun And Romantic When You're Choosing To Do It. But If You Have No Other Choice Than To Be In A Row Boat It's Not As Enjoyable; That's Survival.