I Learned About Sex The Hard Way...

What Is Eternity? You're On The Checkout Line At A Supermarket. There Are Seven People In Front Of You. They Are All Old. They All Have Two Carts And Coupons For Every Item. They Are All Paying By Check. None Of Them Have Id. It's The Checkout Girl's First Day On The Job. She Doesn't Speak Any English. Take Away Fifteen Minutes From That, And You Begin To Get An Idea Of What Eternity Is.

Now There's A Seven-day Waiting Period To Buy A Gun. Who Can Stay Mad That Long?

Some Mornings, It's Just Not Worth Chewing Through The Leather Straps.

Christmas Seems To Start Earlier And Earlier Every Year. Like, This Time, It's On December 25th.

I Don't Know How Electricity Works. All I Know Is That It Calms Me.