I Learned About Sex The Hard Way...

New York's Such A Wonderful City. Although I Was At The Library Today. The Guy Was Very Rude. I Said, "i'd Like A Card." He Says, "you Have To Prove You're A Citizen Of New York." So I Stabbed Him.

Some Comedians Change Their Style, Often To Their Advantage; But I See No Reason Why I Can't Continue With The "urbane Sophisticate" 'til The Day I Die.

I Was The Kid Next Door's Imaginary Friend.

A Friend Of Mine Gave Me A Philip Glass Record. I Listened To It For Five Hours Before I Realized It Had A Scratch On It.

My Jokes Are In My Head And I Have A Duplicate Copy Of My Jokes In A Lot Of British Comics' Heads, Where They Are Safe.