I'll Do Anything For My Wife, It's

When I Was A Kid, My Nickname Was Mr. Baseball. Because Of The Stitches.

At My Lemonade Stand I Used To Give The First Glass Away Free And Charge Five Dollars For The Second Glass. The Refill Contained The Antidote.

Anger Punishes The Bearer's Heart. Who Remains Angry Suffers Most. For Many, The Search For Perfection Virtually Guarantees It Will Be Found, And Disregarded In Order To Continue The Search. Some Mornings It Just Doesn't Seem Worth It To Gnaw Through The Leather Straps.

Isn't This A Wonderful Country? I Was In Florida. I'm Staying At A Motel Called The Three Palms. It's Run By A Middle-aged Couple, One Of Whom Is Missing A Hand. Ok! That's What I Thought, Too! But They Got Upset When I Asked.

I Was Sick Of People Making Fun Of My Hair And So I Cut It Off And I've Got Much More Attention Than Ever Before. It Was Like When Mona Lisa Was Stolen From The Louvre In 1906 - Three Times More People Came To See Where It Used To Be.