I'll Do Anything For My Wife, It's

People Come Up To Me And Say, 'emo, Do People Really Come Up To You?'

I Love England. In Fact, They're Getting To Know Me So Well At Heathrow Immigration That This Time I Was Able To Completely Bypass The Six Months Rabies Quarantine.

A Computer Once Beat Me At Chess, But It Was No Match For Me At Kick Boxing.

Now There's A Seven-day Waiting Period To Buy A Gun. Who Can Stay Mad That Long?

My Sister Gained 80 Pounds Expecting Her Baby. Well, You Get Nervous, Waiting For Those Adoption Papers To Clear.