Well, My Brother Says 'hello.' So, Hooray

If You're Worth Over $50m You Should Have To Dress Like That Guy On The Monopoly Box. The Super-rich Shouldn't Get All The Benefits Of Looking Like A Regular Guy.

Once I Posed Nude For A Magazine. I've Never Been Back To That Newstand.

I Love My Family. I Came Home The Other Days. My Brother's Passed-out On The Couch, Holding An Empty Bottle Of Sleeping Pills. So I Called The Paramedics, And They Pumped His Stomach, And I Think He's Learned His Lesson: You Know, Never To Take My Last Two Sleeping Pills.

I Got A Job At An Amusement Park. I Like To Make The Rides More Terrifying By Throwing A Couple Of Screws Onto The Seats.

My Sister Married A German. He Complained He Couldn't Get A Good Bagel Back Home. I Said: 'well, Whose Fault Is That?'