I Knew The President Would Run For

I've Been Playing Golf A Long Time, Although It's Not Really True That On My First Round They Strapped My Bag On The Back Of A Dinosaur.

You've Got To Be Rich To Have A Swing Like That.

Personally, I Never Drink On Oscar Nights, As It Interferes With My Suffering.

The Audience Was Swell. They Were So Polite They Covered Their Mouths When They Yawned.

At The Academy Award Dinners All The Actors And Actresses In Hollywood Gather Around To See What Someone Else Thinks About Their Acting Besides Their Press Agents.