I Knew A Girl So Ugly, I

I Once Asked A Policeman How Far It Was To The Subway. He Said, "i Don't Know, No One Has Ever Made It".

I'll Tell Ya, My Wife And I, We Don't Think Alike. She Donates Money To The Homeless, And I Donate Money To The Topless!

I Tell Ya When I Fly, I Don't Get No Respect. I Took One Of Those Cheap Flights, No Frills. I Finished Eatin' And Had To Do The Dishes.

When We Got Married My Wife Told Me I Was One In A Million. I Found Out She Was Right.

The Shape I'm In, I Could Donate My Body To Science Fiction.