My Only Thrill Is Self Inflicted Hickies.

I Told My Kids, "someday, You'll Have Kids Of Your Own." One Of Them Said, "so Will You."

When I Was Born I Brought No Joy, My Father Said He Wanted A Boy!

If Sex Is A Pain In The Ass, Then You're Doing It Wrong.

Time And Tide And Hookers Wait For No Man.

My Uncle's Dying Wish - He Wanted Me On His Lap. He Was In The Electric Chair.