My Only Thrill Is Self Inflicted Hickies.

What A Childhood I Had. Once On My Birthday My Ol' Man Gave Me A Bat. The First Day I Played With It, It Flew Away.

My Mother Had Morning Sickness After I Was Born.

Dad Told Me To Stop Running In Circles, I Couldn't, So He Nailed Down My Other Foot!

You Take Care And I Hope I'll Run Into You - When I'm Driving.

My Boy Is A Mean Kid. I Came Home The Other Day And Saw Him Taping Worms To The Sidewalk, He Sits There And Watches The Birds Get Hernias. Well, Only Last Christmas I Gave Him A B-b Gun And He Gave Me A Sweatshirt With A Bulls-eye On The Back. I Told My Kids, "someday, You'll Have Kids Of Your Own." One Of Them Said, "so Will You."