My Only Thrill Is Self Inflicted Hickies.

During Sex, My Girlfriend Always Wants To Talk To Me… Just The Other Night She Called Me From A Hotel.

Comedy Is In My Blood. Too Bad It's Not In My Act.

What A Dog I Got, His Favorite Bone Is In My Arm.

I Come Home From Work Early One Day, And I See A Guy Jogging Down The Street In His Underwear. I Ask Him, "why Are You Jogging In Your Underwear?" He Says, "you Came Home From Work Early".

With My Old Man I Got No Respect. I Asked Him, "how Can I Get My Kite In The Air?" He Told Me To Run Off A Cliff.