I Knew A Girl So Ugly, She

For Christmas One Year I Bought My Son A Bb Gun. He Bought Me A T-shirt With A Bulls Eye On The Back.

My Wife's Jealousy Is Getting Ridiculous. The Other Day She Looked At My Calendar And Wanted To Know Who May Was.

On Halloween, The Parents Sent Their Kids Out Looking Like Me.

For Two Hours, Some Guy Followed Me Around With A Pooper Scooper.

I'm Sitting On Top Of The World, And I've Got Hemorrhoids.