I Knew A Girl So Ugly, She

I Am The World's Oldest Teenager. I've Never Lost My Youthful Attitude.

I Tell Ya, Gambling Never Agreed With Me. Last Week I Went To The Track And They Shot My Horse With The Opening Gun.

She Was So Fat That Her Belly Button Makes An Echo.

I Tell Ya When I Fly, I Don't Get No Respect. I Took One Of Those Cheap Flights, No Frills. I Finished Eatin' And Had To Do The Dishes.

Better To Keep Quiet And Let People Think You're An Idiot Than Speak Up And Confirm It.