My Mother Used To Rock Me -

We Want Five Thousand Dollars Or You'll See Your Kid Again.

Yeah, I Know I'm Ugly... I Said To A Bartender, 'make Me A Zombie.' He Said 'god Beat Me To It.'

When I Was A Kid I Got No Respect. My Mother Breast Fed Me Through A Straw.

I Tell Ya, I Know The Best Way To Get Girls. I Hang Out At Women's Prisons, And Wait For Parolees.

You Know You're Ugly When You Go To The Proctologist And He Sticks His Finger In Your Mouth.