I Have Good Looking Kids. Thank Goodness

...went To A Bar For A Few Drinks. The Bartender Asked What I Wanted. "surprise Me", I Said. So He Showed Me A Naked Picture Of My Wife.

I Tell Ya, My Wife Was Never Nice. On Our First Date, I Asked Her If I Could Give Her A Goodnight Kiss On The Cheek - She Bent Over!

I Came From A Real Tough Neighborhood. Why, Every Time I Shut The Window I Hurt Somebody's Fingers.

Better To Keep Quiet And Let People Think You're An Idiot Than Speak Up And Confirm It.

She Was So Fat That Her Bathtub Has Stretch Marks.