I Have Good Looking Kids. Thank Goodness

Oh, I Was An Ugly Kid. My Old Man Took Me To The Zoo. They Thanked Him For Returning Me.

When I Was Born I Brought No Joy, My Father Said He Wanted A Boy!

When I Was Born I Was So Ugly The Doctor Slapped My Mother.

My Wife Is Always Trying To Get Rid Of Me. The Other Day She Told Me To Put The Garbage Out. I Said To Her I Already Did. She Told Me To Go And Keep An Eye On It.

My Wife She's Fat. Why, If She Lost A Few Pounds, She'd Be Perfectly Round.