My Wife Made Me Join A Bridge

My Old Man Never Liked Me. He Gave Me My Allowance In Traveler's Checks.

I Feel Sorry For Short People, You Know. When It Rains, They're The Last To Know.

When We Got Married, The First Thing My Wife Did Was Put Everything Under Both Names - Hers And Her Mother's.

Getting Older Is Tough. I Remember The Last Time I Felt An Erection. It Was At The Movies. The Only Trouble Is, It Belonged To The Guy Sitting Next To Me.

I Like To Date Schoolteachers. If You Do Something Wrong, They Make You Do It Over Again.