My Wife Made Me Join A Bridge

I'm Getting So Old My Insurance Company Sends Me 1/2 A Calendar!

On Halloween, The Parents Sent Their Kids Out Looking Like Me.

My Mother Never Breast Fed Me, She Told Me She Only Liked Me As A Friend.

Every Time I Get In An Elevator, The Operator Says The Same Thing To Me: 'basement?'

She Was So Fat That Her Bathtub Has Stretch Marks.