At Christmas Time I Sat On Santa's

You Can Name Your Own Salary In This Business. I Call Mine Fred.

During Sex, My Girlfriend Always Wants To Talk To Me… Just The Other Night She Called Me From A Hotel.

When I Was Born The Doctor Took One Look At My Face, Turned Me Over And Said, "look, Twins!"

I Bought A New Japanese Car, I Turned On The Radio ... I Don't Understand A Word They're Saying.

I Shouldn't Tell Jokes About My Wife. She's Attached To A Machine That Keeps Her Alive... The Refrigerator.