I Give Money To Unicef Because I

I've Been Wrestling With Reality For Most Of My Life. I'm Pleased To Say I've Won.

I Ran Five Miles Today. Then, Finally, I Said, 'here, Lady...take Your Purse.'

My Jokes Are In My Head And I Have A Duplicate Copy Of My Jokes In A Lot Of British Comics' Heads, Where They Are Safe.

But I Like To Swim. At High School, I Tried Out For The Swim Team. I Shaved Off All My Body Hair, And That Extra Burst Of Speed From All The Bullies Shouting Kill The Fairy.

I've Always Had A Special Place In My Heart For Old Women Digging Through Garbage Bins. They Saved My Life So Many Times As A Baby.