I've Always Had A Special Place In

Some Mornings, It's Just Not Worth Chewing Through The Leather Straps.

I Was Walking Down The Street. Something Caught My Eye, And Dragged It Fifteen Feet.

When I Wake Up In The Morning, I Just Can't Get Started Until I've Had That First, Piping Hot Pot Of Coffee. Oh, I've Tried Other Enemas.

My Sister Married A German. He Complained He Couldn't Get A Good Bagel Back Home. I Said: 'well, Whose Fault Is That?'

My Mom Gave Me One Of Those Cloth Calendars For The Kitchen. It Took Me Three Hours To Sew In A Dental Appointment.