I Get A Standing Ovation Just Standing

Retire? I'm Going To Stay In Show Business Until I'm The Only One Left

You Know You're Getting Old When You Stoop To Tie Your Shoelaces And Wonder What Else You Could Do While You're Down There.

I Was Always Taught To Respect My Elders And I've Now Reached The Age When I Don't Have Anybody To Respect.

It's Hard For Me To Get Used To These Changing Times. I Can Remember When The Air Was Clean And Sex Was Dirty.

I Never Go Jogging, It Makes Me Spill My Martini.