I Get A Standing Ovation Just Standing

It's Hard For Me To Get Used To These Changing Times. I Can Remember When The Air Was Clean And Sex Was Dirty.

Lots Of People Have Asked Me What Gracie And I Did To Make Our Marriage Work. It's Simple - We Don't Do Anything. I Think The Trouble With A Lot Of People Is That They Work Too Hard At Staying Married. They Make A Business Out Of It. When You Work Too Hard At A Business You Get Tired; And When You Get Tired You Get Grouchy; And When You Get Grouchy You Start Fighting; And When You Start Fighting You're Out Of Business.

I'm At The Age Now Where Just Putting My Cigar In Its Holder Is A Thrill.

Money Is The Root Of All Evil.' Then We Hear, 'a Fool And His Money Are Soon Parted.' What Are They Talking About? If Money Is So Evil, Shouldn't It Be, 'a Wise Man And His Money Are Soon Parted'? And Another Thing, How Does A Fool Get Money In The First Place? I Know Some Fools Who Have A Lot Of Money, But They Won't Tell Me How They Got It, And I Won't Tell Them.

And God Said 'let There Be Satan, So People Don't Blame Everything On Me. And Let There Be Lawyers, So People Don't Blame Everything On Satan.'