As Long As You're Working, You Stay

It Takes Only One Drink To Get Me Drunk. The Trouble Is, I Can't Remember If It's The Thirteenth Or The Fourteenth.

Be Quick To Learn And Wise To Know.

When Jack Benny Has A Party, You Not Only Bring Your Own Scotch, You Bring Your Own Rocks.

I Drink Coffee With My Right Hand, And I Smoke With My Left. But I Talk With Both Hands.

I Never Go Jogging, It Makes Me Spill My Martini.