I Spent A Year In That Town,

I Smoke Ten To Fifteen Cigars A Day. At My Age I Have To Hold On To Something.

If You Were Married To Marilyn Monroe, You'd Cheat With Some Ugly Girl.

I Don't Worry About Getting Old. I'm Old Already. Only Young People Worry About Getting Old.

You Can't Help Getting Older, But You Don't Have To Get Old.

I Use The Cigar For Timing Purposes. If I Tell A Joke, I Smoke As Long As They Laugh And When They Stop Laughing I Take The Cigar Out Of My Mouth And Start My Next Joke.