I Spent A Year In That Town,

If You Were Married To Marilyn Monroe, You'd Cheat With Some Ugly Girl.

None Of Us Kids Had A Middle Name. We Were Lucky We Had Any Name At All. By The Time My Mother Got Around To Naming One, There Was Another On The Way.

I've Been A Straight Man For So Many Years That From Force Of Habit I Repeat Everything. I Went Out Fishing With A Fellow The Other Day And He Fell Overboard. He Yelled, Help! Help! Help! So I Said, Help? Help? Help? And While I Was Waiting For Him To Get His Laugh, He Drowned.

If It's A Good Script I'll Do It. And If It's A Bad Script, And They Pay Me Enough, I'll Do It.

I Don't Believe In Dying. It's Been Done. I'm Working On A New Exit. Besides, I Can't Die Now - I'm Booked.