I Spent A Year In That Town,

If I Paid $3 Or $4 For A Cigar, First I'd Sleep With It.

I Can't Understand Why I Flunked American History. When I Was A Kid There Was So Little Of It.

Being An Actor Is Easy, Just Picture Someone In A Room And You Outside Waiting For Your Cue To Go In. Elliot Gould's Been Trying That For Forty Years.

It's No Surprise That Things Are So Screwed Up: Everyone That Knows How To Run A Government Is Either Driving Taxicabs Or Cutting Hair.

Happiness Is A Dry Martini And A Good Woman ... Or A Bad Woman.