Critics Are Eunuchs At A Gang Bang.

Life's But A Day At Most.

Happiness Is A Dry Martini And A Good Woman ... Or A Bad Woman.

I Use The Cigar For Timing Purposes. If I Tell A Joke, I Smoke As Long As They Laugh And When They Stop Laughing I Take The Cigar Out Of My Mouth And Start My Next Joke.

At My Age Flowers Scare Me.

If You Ask What Is The Single Most Important Key To Longevity, I Would Have To Say It Is Avoiding Worry, Stress And Tension. And If You Didn't Ask Me, I'd Still Have To Say It.