It's Hard For Me To Get Used

With The Collapse Of Vaudeville New Talent Has No Place To Stink.

I Use The Cigar For Timing Purposes. If I Tell A Joke, I Smoke As Long As They Laugh And When They Stop Laughing I Take The Cigar Out Of My Mouth And Start My Next Joke.

If I Get Big Laughs, I'm A Comedian. If I Get Little Laughs, I'm A Humorist. If I Get No Laughs, I'm A Singer.

Everyday Happiness Means You Can't Wait To Come Home, Because The Soup Is Hot.

I Look Better, Feel Better, Make Love Better And I'll Tell You Something Else....i Never Lied Better.